What is your identity? What is my identity?

The Stool

And just to add, here's the video clip we used for discussion with my girls this evening. Am glad it sparkled off an interesting round of thoughts and personal sharings.

So...who's sitting on The Stool in your life?

It’s a Saturday and I am seated at “MOF Sweets & Coffee”, this Japanese café located at AMK Hub, and has juz finished my cell meeting with Jean and Debbie.

Taking a moment to reflect on the past few weeks I have gone through before heading home. Let’s see.

1) Celebrated Jeanie’s 21st at a surprise bash at “Cheeky Chocolates” with her friends, followed by a weekend chalet at East Coast Park with family and friends.

2) My baby niece developed bronchitis and was admitted to the hospital for 4 days.

3) Mom discovered she had blocked arteries and had to do an angiography to check how bad her condition is. Thank God her condition is manageable and she need not go through a stent operation (it still freaked me out to see her warded into hospital tho.)

4) Spent half a day with C.Y. and D.C. at East Coast, cycling for 2 hours and getting my butt and legs sore, plus I had a fall and got myself a bleeding kneecap. Oh, but lunch at “Everything With Fries” was just a fabulous way to end my afternoon, and make up for the pain.

5) Attended a Young Adults Car Rally with my adult cell and was completely blessed by the games and the message on “Life Pursuits” by Pastor Dom. Glad that A.T. had a good time and is considering joining us for cell.

6) Work has been increasingly getting on my nerves, and I am seriously contemplating O-U-T.

Ironically, today is also one of the dates that has always affected me greatly and here I am, starting to get myself blogging again.

All in all, a dramatic October. Just hoping November will be a better month.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep

to gain what he cannot lose."

-- Jim Elliot,

missionary martyr for Christ

Friends.

Had a chat with J.T. a few nights ago on MSN and we shared on a couple of heart issues that have been tugging at our heart strings for a while.

Looking back, I am grateful how Yahweh has preserved this friendship between us over the years, and even more so, how we have grown in our own different ways. Still, whenever he needs a voice, I am thankful he thought of me.

It's never easy to find friends whom you are able to share openly with a transparent heart. Friends whom you can just call or email at any random point in time, just to share your thoughts without having the other party thinking you're weird or strange. Friends whom you can count on to give you valuable input and a listening ear, without judgement and skepticsm.

Friends who are truly friends.

I am glad he gave me this opportunity to be a friend, despite being thousands of miles away.

Thanks dude.

A friend wrote this to me in response to a link I posted on facebook not too long ago.

"STOP POSTING SUCH POISONOUS MESSAGES !!! THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY AN EXTREMIST!!! Do u see the Love of God in his preaching? UTTER NONSENSE AND CRAP!!!"

My first reaction when I read this message? Shock, followed by disappointment and hurt. Shock because I did not expect such a reaction from anyone, least of all, him. Disappointment and hurt because I felt judged by a friend whom I thought might at the very least, try to understand why I agree with the video I posted, before passing any judgement on me or screaming at me online.

This feeling accompanied me throughout today. And it affects me more than I realised.

I am never good when it comes to confrontations such as these. Yes, I like to think I can handle conflicts pretty well, but when someone starts screaming or yelling at me, I do what I know best - I have my walls up instantly. I clammed up. I cut the person off. And nothing can penetrate through those thick walls I have built over years. It's my defence mechanism, something I have to protect my heart every time I am close to getting hurt.

Perhaps, that is also why I have always been so very careful in who I chose to give my heart to, in any kind of relationship, be it friendship, kinship or love. Friends or family who are extremely dear to me will know that they affect me a great deal emotionally. One word, one action, one gesture can trigger a whole lot of emotions from me. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a highly-charged emotional woman.

Today, from that comment, it made me realised how dear that friend is to me, how much his comments affected me. And how disappointed and sad I am to realise that in his worldview, my stand is "poisonous".

And my heart aches.

"A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that......"

(The Message, James 3:3-6)

The Prosperity Gospel

Stayed home the entire day today, surfing through the Internet while clearing some personal stuff. Came upon this on YouTube and am inspired and convicted of the below clip on the prosperity gospel.

Now, I do not know if you have ever heard of the prosperity gospel before, or even your take on it. Quite frankly, I was never comfortable about the whole prosperity gospel thing. Somehow, the focus on Christ is taken out of the picture. Completely.

And it irks me to know that there are preachers who preached about it weekend in, weekend out. It disturbs me.

That's probably why John Piper, as you will watch below, has always been one of my favourite authors to date. His messages 'force' me to think deeper, and questioned myself more.

Let's face it. The prosperity gospel really is no gospel at all.

At least not the gospel of Christ.

Mom Loves Me.

Stumbled upon Mom working on this blanket this afternoon and realised that this blanket is meant for me when it's completed.

I can't imagine the amount of time and effort put in by Mom, piecing every single cloth together and arranging the pieces of cloth to form the chinese character below. Wow!

My heart is immensely grateful and touched at how God uses parents to show His Love to His Children.

Thank You Yahweh. I am forever grateful.

And I love you Mom.

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

- John Piper -